So you’ve finally made the decision to sign on the dotted line and join the US Army? Great. Now you have to figure out how to get through basic training, which your friendly local recruiter probably didn’t talk much about. Well, you don’t need to be worried because we’re here to give you a couple pointers to prepare you for Basic Training.
Be a Ghost
The best piece of advice anyone can ever give you is: don’t stand out in basic training. There are a few reasons for this. One, you don’t need to be the best because no one in the history of the Army gives a shit what anyone does in Basic Training. Two, no one likes teacher’s pet. Three, if you’re standing out because you’re a turd burger, no one is going to help you with anything. But, if you stand out for excellence, there will be expectations. In my class, there was a guy who shot 40 out of 40 on the range before we actually qualified. The Drill Sgts. kept bragging about how great of trainers they were, right up until the soldier preceded to bolo the range. At that point, they lost their minds and continued to rip into the guy for the rest of training. I got my Marksman Badge and, while I was never King Shit, I also wasn’t ridiculed for not meeting my metaphorical father’s expectations. Which is pretty neat.
So, save being top soldier for when it matters and don’t blow your load impressing NCOs you probably will never see again.
Learn To Eat Fast
They’re going to push you in and out as quickly as possible. You need to shovel food in your mouth and wash it down with water and get the heck out of the chow hall. Why? Army reasons. No one comes out and actually says that but I have a feeling 95% of everything an enlisted person does in the Army is for unknown Army reasons. Also, while they can’t tell you not to drink pop or get desserts, it’s generally a good idea not to, as that just makes you another target. There is nothing a Drill Sgt. loves more than a target to use all of the creative insults they spent months crafting in their devilish minds.
It’s Not as Bad as You Think It Will Be
Almost everyone has seen Full Metal Jacket. If you haven’t, I give you permission to stop reading this article so you can watch one of the best movies ever made. You’re back? Awesome. Now you need to understand that was a representation of the Marine Corps during the Vietnam War. It is not the 60s or 70s and R. Lee Ermey is not going to threaten to skull fuck anyone. No one is going to hit you, because why would they? Making you hold your rifle at chest height with your arms straight while holding the charging handle back is much more effective than a punch to the stomach.
If you shut your mouth and stay out of the way, it’s going to be pretty damn easy. If you played high school sports, you’ll soon figure out that two-a-day practices are worse than any of the physical stuff you will do. This isn’t Ranger School, no one is asking you become an elite Spec Ops killer. You’re just low crawling a bit and climbing some ropes. You. Will. Be. Fine. So buck up; you’ll be done with Basic Training soon and on your way to being a real soldier in no time.
Do you think I’m wrong about anything; have some more advice to give to potential recruits or even some funny Basic Training stories? Leave a comment and let us know.
Disclaimer: The content in this article is the opinion of the writer and does not necessarily reflect the policies or opinions of US Patriot Tactical.
Latest posts by Mark Wasson (see all)
- Strange Military Traditions – 6 September, 2015
- Why You Shouldn’t Get Caught Up In Conspiracy Theories – 31 August, 2015
- Military Branches: A Satirical Guide To Them All – 28 August, 2015