How to Be a Military Spouse Part 2: Mil to Civ

You made a commitment, for better or for worse, and sometimes being married to a military member has its fair share of “worse.” A military spouse is a job; the same way being a First Lady or stay-at-home-mom is a job. There is no pay and people think it’s the easiest thing in the world. The military lifestyle can be hard to get used to, but these tips will help you start enjoying the lifestyle immediately.

Stay Busy

If you’ve decided not to work, it’s best to stay busy doing other things. Start volunteering at base events or in the community. You can help your spouse advance in their career if they get involved in volunteer work as well. It’s a great way to help the community and spend time together. Take classes or offer to help your spouse’s coworkers by watching their kids or pets. It’s important to have purpose to avoid being shadowed by your spouse’s career.

SpouseFinding Employment

When the military is the primary focus for you and your spouse, it can be easy to forget to take care of yourself. You should be very thankful that your spouse has a steady job in a rocky economic period, but you need to be prepared for the “what ifs” and life after serving. Your spouse will have a great chance at getting a job if they choose to leave the service. They have training and work experience. This is a great time to further your education or get an internship. Continue to find ways to expand your resume.

Be Flexible

Maybe you were planning a weekend getaway for your honeymoon or to visit your family for Christmas, but your spouse got called in for extra duty. It can be frustrating, but it’s best to remain calm and reschedule what you can. For holidays, anniversaries, and other important dates, try to remember the date is simply a day on the calendar. If you can’t get together with family until December 28th, it’s not the end of the world. You’re getting together to celebrate Christmas, not December 25th.


It’s common knowledge that military members get stationed all over the world, and move frequently. Become an organized drill sergeant of your household goods. Create a binder with tips, frequently used paperwork, and information about the next duty station. Lists will be your best friend in this scenario. Lists of important items, items you need immediately after moving in, and emergency contact numbers to name a few. Take charge and pick up the slack in any way that you can. Your spouse has to handle his or her own out-processing checklist, so help whenever you are able. It’s truly a team effort.

At the end of the day, as long as you remember what is truly important, you’ll figure out a way to accomplish it all. You’ll volunteer, take classes, and be ready to PCS in one week if necessary. It takes a strong person to be married to a service member, but there is nothing that compares. It’s exciting, rewarding, and exhausting. Once you’re with someone who served their country, it’s hard to be with anything less.

Disclaimer: The content in this article is the opinion of the writer and does not necessarily reflect the policies or opinions of US Patriot Tactical.

Emily Ruch

Emily Ruch was born in Minnesota and raised in central California before joining the Air Force at the age of 17. While serving in the Air Force, Emily worked in the Base Command Post specializing in Emergency Management. She didn’t travel the world as expected, but spent time in west Texas, Washington D.C., plus a short deployment in Southeast Asia. Instead of traveling, Emily spent most of her time on education, cultivating friendships with coworkers, and enjoying her surroundings. She was lucky enough to meet her husband of seven years while serving in Texas. Emily left the service after six years and began working as a correspondence coordinator for the Department of Energy. Now she is a stay-at-home-mom with her 10-month-old son and three dogs.
Emily Ruch

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